Working. Unemployed.

I'm currently ill in bed and trying to fit this quick post in before Corrie.

Some of you may know that in an attempt to pay off my overdraft and get a life I've got a temporary waitressing job in a restaurant. The hours are long and it pays minimum wages and it's TIRING. The people I work with are all lovely and make it a gazillion times better than it otherwise would be.

I just have a few things I kind of wanted to say about it. Not because you all want to read it or anything as ridiculous as that, but occasionally I like to flick through this blog and remind myself of times when I've been happy/sad/angry and I felt I should probably note this whole temporary work fiasco down.

Working from 12pm until 11pm -and sometimes past midnight- is tiring and depressing. There's no time for anything else, I've not seen any friends in ages (except my best friend and that's because we coincidentally have had the same days off). I've cried more in the past two weeks than I probably have in the past 3 months. I've gone from one extreme (being unemployed with all the time in the world) to working all the hours ever. I'd never ever say I was work-shy, I've pretty much always been employed since I was 15 and it's never been desk jobs so it's not like I'm scared of being on my feet all day or anything as pathetic as that. It's just that this is not healthy, I don't know how anybody does it, but I do know that for many it's not a choice *serious face*. From speaking to the fab people that I work with there are cases of people that have debt to repay (nothing like the measly grand a half of overdraft that I have), haven't been able to get apprenticeships or have simply ended up there just as I have.

It feels weird to write, I haven't actually written a single thing in ages and I feel like I've forgotten how to do it. Apologies if this ramble is hard to read, I'm trying to make it at least a little coherent.

So yes, anyway. I was thinking about a lot of things today and I have a few points.

• I was watching that Dispatches episodes about rubbish collections and recycling and why the fuck did they not mention restaurants once? This is the second restaurant I've worked in and both have been  appalling for recycling. There's this massive focus on household waste and recycling but never a mention of the catering industry, especially in the mainstream media. Do we just ignore that? Is that the done thing? The amount of glass, cardboard and food waste that gets taken to landfill is just crazy. Well annoying.
• No-one who works 12 hours a day has any time for politics. Fucking lucky too, because if they did have the time to pay attention to it they'd be really angry at it all (well, angrier...). Even I -someone who <3s politics- has been plagued with a horrible bitterness towards people in politics in the space of a fortnight. Obviously when I'm unemployed again my bitterness shall be focused on a different aspect of politics (which can be summarised with the well known phrase "fucking Tories").
• I'll be unemployed again after the first week of November. I'm ridiculously lucky to have parents who aren't charging me any rent whilst I pay off my overdraft and such. However, there are some people who will be made unemployed when I will -because it's the end of Blackpool's season when the illuminations are turned off- and they have families to look after and rent to pay. The bus I get to work drives through one of the poorest wards in Blackpool and for many people living in that ward it'll only get worse at the end of the season. This isn't a "oh poor them in their poor situation" thing. I've lived in that, I'm not feeling sorry for them, I'm angry. Since I was a kid there's now more help in schools for poor kids and there is more help for parents, but towns like Blackpool still have nothing in the way of good, permanent employment. Masses of people are loaded onto the dole queue every November until late February and it's months of hard winters for all of them. I know Blackpool is undergoing a regeneration at the moment, and fair enough, it's looking nicer and the town attracted 13 million visitors this year, but where are the benefits to those of us who actually live here? Where are the proper jobs? Where is all this money that's being pumped into the local economy going? FOR REAL. So much anger at all of this.

Anyway. I think I'm done ranting now. If anyone made it this far then you're a bit weird but it's really appreciated. Corrie is on now, good timing.

Oh Hurricane

Hurricane

Blackpool was getting some sort of ex-Hurricane Katia blah*. 

It's very windy. 

Here are a few pictures I took when I walked back from the town centre.

*I have a Geography A-Level, I can assure you that's the proper terminology.

Sexuality nonsense

I know I get in a bit of a feminist hissy quite a lot, but I think today and yesterday I've had my sexualities hat on and have been watching out for any sexuality-related nonsense.

Firstly, scientists have proven that bisexuality is an actual thing. I know right. Who'd have known? I really like that bisexuals have a validated sexuality; they must be relieved to know they're no longer abnormal, thanks Science! It's a bit insulting, isn't it? There are loads of sexualities and if we're going to have to sit around and wait for scientists to decide that they exist* then we'll be waiting a very long time.

Graduate Limbo

Since graduating I've found life to be a bit weird. I had Results Limbo a couple of weeks ago and now this seems to be some sort of Graduate Limbo. I would sum up my current feelings with the Britney Spears song "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman". I'm not having some sort of age crisis, or self-identification crisis, I'm having a "what on Earth am I even doing with my life?" crisis (all in-betweeny crises can be summed up by that song). I've moved back home and reverted back to my Sixth Form self, except this time I have no definite plan of what I will be doing and when. I see this as some sort of punishment, to be honest. I've always wanted to teach, I've never really cared what, as long as I can teach something to someone (within reason, guyz, come on). Now I've finished full-time education the thing I thought was my vocation is no longer so. This is a bit annoying.

(I've just put that Britney song on. It's so good)

I have had some life progress though. I shall be writing the piece on Gender for GEER's Red Book which comes out in September. GEER (which I occasionally mis-type GEEK for no reason, the letters aren't even near each other on the keyboard *sigh*) is a Labour-Left think tank that aims to move on from Tony Blair's Third Way in a new direction, a direction that doesn't (again *rolls eyes*) cuddle-up to neo-liberalism. So far I've really liked many of the posts that have been written by members of GEER and I'm ridiculously nervous about putting up a post of my own. I'm horribly self-conscious when it comes to my writing. There's no place for self-deprecating humour when I write a "proper thing", it doesn't come across very well. I have the utmost belief in the points I want to put across in the Gender piece and I don't want my own self-consciousness to ruin my argument, there are enough wankers out there who'll try and do that for me *sigh*.

Bright Eyes

Best post ever.

I wasn't originally going to see Bright Eyes, not for any good reason, I just didn't know whether I'd be at uni or at home when the tickets came out. So when someone cropped up on Twitter and said they knew someone with a ticket I was all over that. Joyous.

I'm quite excited. Mainly because they were my 15 year old emo love. Conor Oberst is an intense (but beautiful) man and I'm pretty sure his face IRL will be wonderful. 

I may even cry.

If he doesn't play the following few songs I will be crying both because of rage and because I'm emo.

 

This is a massive weeper.

Anything off Digital Ash will make me happy. I love that album.

Guh <3

I love this song. This is 100% getting played, so I'm not worried *temporarily stops crying*

(I really hate these weirdo lyrics videos) This song is creepy. I kinda like that.

This is also quite creepy. Still love it though.

Basically, lots of their songs and lots of intensity. 

I think this gig will be quite a bit like the Death Cab one I went to. I couldn't bring myself to sing to a lot of their stuff purely because I refused to sing over Ben Gibbard's voice. He is also fab.

State substitution.

'Weak states have been further weakened by an inability to deal with the political and social turmoil and rebellion resulting from globalization. Often economic liberalization and deregulation have been accompanied by a reduction in the role of the state - in both the economy and society, in the developing world (whilst in industrialized countries over the past two decades of globalization, a solid core of governmental activity has remained untouched - and untouchable such as the National Health Service in the United Kingdom). In developing countries where governments were often weak to begin with, `rolling back the state' in order to enhance global competitiveness has left a vacuum of political authority. This has been clearly demonstrated around the Southern and Eastern Mediterranean where after state subsidies and basic services were cut back during the 1980s, Islamic groups and other non-state actors quickly stepped in to substitute for the government: providing health care, soup kitchens, education and other social services. The substitution, however, had deeper implications for the state since many non-state actors did not just provide social goods, rather they mounted a direct challenge to the authority and legitimacy of the state.'

- The Political Economy of Globalization (By Ngaire Woods) 

"Oedipus was the first mother fucker"

People who are younger than you and achieve massive things are rather annoying. I'm only 20 years old (which is pretty young...) yet people younger than me are multi-millionaires. Uhhhh. Saying that, I lack any specific talents; I make a good brew and I'm kinda useful in an argument but you can't really make money off that. Anyway, all of this has a point - I recently went to see Bo Burnham at the Arts Centre on campus. He is younger than me by a whole couple of months. A whole couple of months. Guh.

Bo Burnham is as close to my perfect comedian as I'm ever going to get. He calls himself an 'artist' throughout the show, and whilst he says this in an arrogant and rather satirical tone, there is an air about Burnham that I believe permits him to say he's an artist (maybe it’s just me that thinks this). His show was a wonderful conglomeration of music, comedy and theatricals; and his flexibility as a performer is completely captivating. Naturally I can’t help but sit there with my mouth slightly open and my eyes glazed over as I stare and swoon.

He has a rather camp vibe to him which I’m pretty sure he has because he’s really tall. Pretty much everyone I meet who is tall and skinny also happens to be quite awkward (...and camp); I think it’s because you’re quite aware of your height and so you’re not really sure how to hold yourself and that translates into looking camp (hand on the hip type thing). I only say this because I’m tall(ish, I’m 5’8”) and when I’m surrounded by lots of short women my body language is really awkward (the fact I’ve noticed this is a step towards progress, woo!). His campness is quite charming, there was an amazing bit where he was talking about how his Dad always thought he was gay and how surprised he was by this...he then threw glitter and confetti all over himself in a beautifully camp manner. Love it.

Anyway, here's some of his stuff for you to watch and love. His show was amazing and I would recommend it to anyone. A couple of the new songs he played look brilliant too. You all must go and see his show if you ever get the chance :D 

Two albums are also on Spotify.

(By the way, he took the piss out of Michael McIntyre - it was HILAIR)

Results Limbo

I finished my degree over three weeks ago now, naturally I have done nothing of any importance since then. I've applied for a few jobs, edited my CV, got drunk, danced around the house, got drunk, did a bit of tidying, seen friends for food and brews and slept a lot. It's super nice, if a little empty - I'll worry about the emptiness when I go home in a week...maybe

There's just something really nice about not having my results yet. I've had a few nightmares, which have obviously been horrible. It's not that I think I'll fail, I'm 100% sure I've passed, I'm just worried about what I'll get. Guh. However, now I know when results day is the nightmares have stopped. Thank God.

Current love of life. Need to see the new X Men film so that I can swoon over him more than I already do.

Degree = Finished

Now that my degree is over (I know, how exciting/scary) I will probably using this dear blog to type something a little bit more profound (maybe) to what I usually write across the internet. Let's keep in mind most of my writing on the internet is either in a Facebook chat box or on Twitter, so it's not that hard to write something more profound, all I have to do is probably spell a little better and not think in 140 characters or less. Difficult timez guyz. So yeah, no promises, innit.

I write in such a chatty manner, I'm glad I never have to see "quite informal writing style" on another list of essay criticisms ever again. I don't write like this in essays, but sometimes I get a little chatty and when it's 3am and I'm on 700 words of a 2500 word essay, I'm hyped up due to too much sugar (Haribo and a little sugar in my tea when I'm feeling adventurous) and I would like to be in bed rather than writing about policies that probably didn't work or had some irritating ever-lasting mark of ridiculous (ASBOs, I'm looking at you).

This blog post isn't anything really, I'm just sad that it's all over. I'm currently approaching it with humour, in about a months time expect me to be crying and uploading a picture via iPhone Blogger of me chained to Warwick's University House. Don't do that face at me. It could happen.