Priorities

Nikki: "I think I'd want my husband to have footballer's legs"
Me: "But then he can't wear skinny jeans?"
Nikki: "Yeah, ok then, rugby player's legs."
Me: "Yeah, but then he really can't wear skinny jeans..."
Nikki: "Can you not see I'm trying to emphasise how much I don't want him to wear skinny jeans?"
Me: "Oh"

Sometimes I think I need to get out of this "type" I have selected for myself. It isn't healthy.

Progressive nonsense

I saw this video a while ago and at the time was a bit like 'meh'. Literally that was all the emotion I could sum up. However, I was reading Guido Fawkes, as you do...and I came across the video again. But because times are as they are (what a stupid saying) then I figured I'd just highlight odd bits of its hilarity.

I wouldn't bother watching it all (/any of) the 8 minutes and 40 seconds of it, it's so dull and tedious. I've seen it twice now and I'm about to watch it a third time, FUN.



Right...ARE YOU READY FOR HILARITY?

At the beginning they ramble on about how they've been on the side of progressive change for YEARS, years guys. Progressive conservatism, because an oxymoron is where it's at. The thing more hilarious than that statement is that they say "Look at all the wonderful things our party has done, isn't it fabulous!" and then at the end they say "David Cameron has brought change to the Party". You can't spend a whole video telling people why you're so brilliant and then go "...ah, well all this progression throughout the years of the Conservative Party just wasn't working, ya know?  We need a change in direction (but not really), so we become even more progressive than we were (actually weren't)."

If you don't like actual policy shit skip the next two paragraphs. 
I'M SO NICE FOR TELLING YOU THIS.

I generally just despise the whole "Look what we did" feeling in this video. The legislation they introduced wasn't put through because they had the interests of the people at heart, it was put through because they had no other choice, as so many people were campaigning for change; whether that campaigning was by some feminists or moral purity campaigners (re: the many acts of the 1880s, specifically this one, even though that's hideous in many ways) or campaigners (for example, re: working class men getting the vote).

They also say that in 1923 that Stanley Baldwin came up with a comprehensive old age pension. For starters, we (Britain) got Old-Aged Pensions in the 1908 Act under the Liberal Reforms. It wasn't that good, considering you had to be 70 to claim it and bugger all people got to that age. And yes, I'm aware that pensions underwent reform in 1923 and the Tories can cling onto that smidgen of progression, but to be honest, our pension system is piss-all in comparison to many other countries at this period, so they can piss off. AND they state unemployment benefits as their 'thang' too, that comes under the Liberal Reforms too, I'm afraid, there were reforms to it in the late 1920s/early 30s, but they just made it all worse (because  unemployment benefit was cut after the Wall Street Crash, smart move). AND they state health insurance as theirs too...achem...again, Liberal Reforms. Any increase in provision is mainly because they had to...can't fight a war with a sick nation, right?

Are we picking up a pattern here? Any idea who's interests they have in mind? Anything at all???

I'm missing out a massive chunk here because it's SO.VERY.BORING. But basically, we have an NHS (Labour's doing), some Education Reform and apparently some new homes to live in. How dandy. AND women can vote, jeeez, it's all coming up good for Tory governing! (Not really though, let me emphasise that).

NOW FOR SOME THATCH. There's a change of music and everything before she comes on waving her witchy arm about. My favourite bit of this whole video (as I'm sure you can guess, there are many *rolls eyes*) is where they say "SLASHED PENAL TAX RATES" and a bit of red-tape is cut and floats away. Ahhhh, what imagery.

I'm ignoring John Major completely. You wouldn't have noticed unless I'd said, don't lie.

The only bit William Hague gets is HELPED SAVE THE POUND *snorts*. Well done, Will. I found this bit almost as funny as the red tape bit, not quite, but nearly.

At the end they have all the images of the Conservative leaders moving from left to right, so it's like you're going back in time but actually you're going forward in time because the leaders are going forward in time. I don't know if that's just me being picky, but I dislike that. I'm probably the only person in the world to have noticed this.

BEST VIDEO EVA, RIGHT?

Chat chat chaaattyyy

(EDIT: This is not what my life solely consists of, but you all don't need to hear how much of a mess my life is, thankyouverymuch)

It's been a while since a did a chatty blog. I've been ranting about something or other in all my past blogs. Shame on me. Well, here is a nice blog full of things I've been up to. EXCITING (it may not be very exciting, as I haven't been up to that much).

It has been rather chilly here, just like everywhere else. I'm sure you've heard about the country being quite cold, right? I know, I know, there is nothing more newsworthy than the snow/cold in December. It's a shocker every year. Leamington Spa -being the aesthetically pleasing place that it is- looked even prettier in the ice and snow...I say snow, the snow here was pitiful. It was literally just ice and I dislike ice (does anyone actually like it?). My dislike is mainly because I'm not the most graceful of people and I'm generally quite clumsy...so I slip a lot. The other day I managed to slightly trip on air (because for some reason I don't need things to actually trip over) and I landed on a Postman, that was a hideous moment. I was in a rush to get to the bus stop so I just ran off saying "Thanks for saving me from the floor!" So embarrassing.

I and few of the Warwick Labour lot ventured in to the depths of a snow-covered Coventry to do some leafleting the other week. It was freezing with actual snow. I obviously wasn't dressed appropriately, as I'm never dressed properly. I wear what I wear in summer during winter, I just add/remove cardigans/leggings. It was fine. Ben and I looked suitably frozen by the end. It didn't help that Ben posted our map in someone's house, ha. Also, people in Coventry, why do you all have stairs going up to your house, it's such a massive effort and it's terrifying during icy-snow-times.

I've just realised that I'm going backwards in time. Basically, the further down the blog you go the longer ago it happened, understood? This picture (in which I have gum in my mouth, not some weird protruding tooth) was from the first lot of student protests, ya know the ones. If the words "Siege of Milbank" don't mean anything to you, then quite frankly, you're very out of the loop. This was over a month ago, where have you been? I, along with the majority of people there, enjoyed a bit of peaceful protest. Again, it was freezing. The day was rather hilarious (not the cause, the cause is anything but hilarious, condem wankers). We ended up going to King's College SU and having some food and alcohol. We were sat in the warmth watching the coverage of the protests on Sky News and the BBC (which is quite weird when you've just been stood right there) and we saw the headlines about something was being broken into. We weren't that pleased at the time, as we thought it'd make us all look like student wankers...then we found out it was Tory HQ that had been 'seized' and all was well. However, I will highlight something...Baroness Warsi, the ultimate Wicked Witch of the Tories, was apparently in Tory HQ at the time. To those of you that know about her you'll understand why we were quite happy that the building was being ransacked. Bitch. (I have more opinions on the violence -in this demo and the ones that have succeeded it- but quite frankly I can't be arsed writing them). 

Good day to you all, it's quite nice to have a nice chatty blog again :)

I hate Pitbull.

I know for a fact that I'm not the only one who occasionally does this face at the music in the charts. That gif is a good choice, actually - as it is all a copy of a copy. All of it sounds painfully similar. I'm not going to do some annoying analysis of this song, as amusing as that usually is (you're all so disappointed!)



The comments on this video reinforce my opinion that people do not know about good music.

Pitbull's arrogance and lack of talent combined with T-Pains non-lyrics just upsets my poor ears. I already despise Pitbull, as he's does nothing, NOTHING. He also doesn't help himself with his whole "I know you want me" spiel. I find it hilarious that he's not good-looking in the slightest yet is like I KNOW YOU WANT ME. No, no I do not want you *shakes head*. However! Despite his incredible lack of talent, arrogance and his love for featuring on so many other shit chart songs it's offensive, he does have his hoard of bikini clad women. You know the ones, right? They do that dancing thing where they don't really dance, they just stand there and slightly move their arse a bit and their arms up and down, they have their mouths slightly open in a half gawpy/half fake-porno-face way and they do that really weird squinty thing with their eyes. It's hot stuff.

Basically, he looks like the man that did our gas and central heating back home, and he probably has just as much talent as him, too *

Some things never get better...(Pitbull songs, winters, the Tories opinions on things, etc...)

*No offence to Bill, you did an excellent job on the heating.